negative thoughts Tag

Does Anxiety give us magical powers?

A client recently commented that she was reluctant to talk about the good things that could happen as it could ‘jinx it’.   My response to her was ‘Wow – let’s talk about your magical powers!  If you can stop something good happening by talking about it, can you make something good happen by talking about it too?  Or are your magical powers only limited to stopping the good stuff in life?’

She of course laughed and said that she doesn’t have magical powers but understood the point that I was making.  If what we say and don’t say could impact our future negatively, why can’t it also impact our future positively?  The reality is that when we have a well-trodden anxiety response we look at the future through the lens of all the things that can go wrong, and we forget to also look for the things that can go well.  When we are looking for the things that can go wrong, we subconsciously look for evidence to support our expectation. When we expect things to go badly we see the missed parking spot as a sign that we don’t deserve good things, or the rainy day as a sign that the universe is against us. We see a person walking slowly in front of us as deliberately trying to make us late, and the neighbours playing loud music as them trying to stop us from enjoying our TV show.

If we look for the good in each day and reframe our thoughts, we start to look for the evidence to support the expectation that good things happen.  The missed parking spot becomes a chance to find another spot that is closer to where we are going, the rain is an excuse to break out our favourite umbrella or be grateful for the garden being watered.   The person walking slowly is a chance to smile at them as we walk past, or to be grateful that we are healthy enough to walk faster than them.  The loud music next door can be an excuse for a dance party in the kitchen, or to knock on the neighbour’s door to have a chat.   Saying that ‘good things will happen today’ can change our whole demeanour so that we are looking for good things to support our statement.  

Using our magical powers for good and setting ourselves up to find the moments of joy in each day is a powerful way to reframe our thinking and improve our mental health.  How can you reframe your day today?